so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
