I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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