Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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