so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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