Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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