so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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