i wish my penis had a tongue
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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