I'm really into asian looking animals
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
