I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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