Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
