her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Drunk is a universal language darling
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize