How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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