Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
