In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
