just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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