I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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