she looked like the before picture.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
