he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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