I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
