erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
