ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
