it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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