is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
