My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
