I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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