I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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