hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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