your thong is hanging out like whoa
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
pray to the hookup gods
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
