ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
