so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
