Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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