You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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