Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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