Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
