I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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