took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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