Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
