4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
youre lurking in front of me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
