Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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