Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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