There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
