its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
