take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
