good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
