We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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