so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
is that a dick in a sweater?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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