my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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