he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
