i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
