Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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