I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize