If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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