just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
