You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wat bout pragnant strippers??
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
