I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
They have beer where we have blood.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
