Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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