Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
