Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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