the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am one with the molecules
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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